sex,money,power
I get a lot of emails from guys who read my
newsletter that say things like...
"I'm sure what you're saying is right, but I don't
want to be a jerk or an a**hole to women..."
"I have seen what you're talking about happen all
my life, but I'm a 'nice guy' and I want women to
like me for me..."
...and...
"This doesn't make sense..."
For most of my life, I was THE nice guy of nice
guys. As a matter of fact, when I first made the
decision to learn how to be successful with women,
this actually created an OBSTACLE for me.
Let me explain...
Because I believed that "being a nice guy" MUST
be the way to success with women, I ACTUALLY
COULDN'T EVEN PERCEIVE ANY OTHER WAY.
In other words, I could see a situation where a
woman was attracted to a mean, abusive guy and
think to myself that either she must be screwed up
in the head, or THAT THE GUY MUST BE REALLY NICE
TO HER THE REST OF THE TIME.
As you probably know, it's hard to convince a
person to believe something when they already have
a belief about the topic. The person that you're
trying to convince just uses whatever you say to
convince themselves that they're actually right...
and you're wrong.
I did the exact same thing.
No matter how much evidence I found to the
contrary, I still somehow believed that being a
"nice" guy, buying women flowers and gifts, taking
them out, and generally letting them be in control
of the relationship HAD to be the way to attract
them.
Well, after continuing along the same path and
getting the same results, I realized something
that literally changed EVERYTHING for me.
I realized that JERKS do, in fact, attract hot
women.
Selfish behavior, as unhealthy as this might
sound, often makes women feel attracted to you.
Sarcasm, ball busting, playing hard to get, and
all kinds of other "illogical" things really do
work when it comes to attracting women.
But then I had a dilemma...
I love the idea of being successful with women,
but I HATE the idea of mistreating people, being
mean to them, lying and misleading, etc.
Deep down, I want to be a good guy.
I decided that there MUST be a way to make this
work, and to attract women without being ABUSIVE.
The good news is that THERE IS a way.
But it requires that you put aside your current
ideas for just long enough to entertain some new
ones.
First, let me say that I believe I've found a
way to take the things that JERKS do to attract
women and use them WITHOUT THE ABUSE. When you
learn to do this, you can really have the best of
both worlds... you can be nice to women on your
own terms, and give them what they REALLY want,
and what REALLY attracts them.
So WHY DO WOMEN BECOME ATTRACTED TO JERKS?
The short answer is that they don't CHOOSE it,
it's something that just HAPPENS.
ATTRACTION ISN'T A CHOICE.
It's an emotional response to certain things.
Women don't CHOOSE to feel the emotion called
ATTRACTION for jerks any more than YOU choose to
feel the emotion called ATTRACTION for young,
beautiful, hardbodied women.
Nature has pre-programmed MEN with a mechanism
that works like this:
SEE HOT WOMEN ---> FEEL ATTRACTION
Well, women have a similar mechanism. But I
think that the female version is MORE COMPLEX.
Yes, women do feel attraction for extremely
handsome men... but they feel a MUCH STRONGER
ATTRACTION for certain PERSONALITY TRAITS and
BEHAVIORS than they do for physical looks alone.
So again, the short answer is that it's just
something that "happens" inside of a women. She
doesn't "choose" it.
So what is it about the "jerk" that creates
this powerful, uncontrollable ATTRACTION inside of
women?
Let me answer first by telling you what IT'S
NOT:
It's NOT the abuse (not usually anyway). I
don't believe that women are attracted to that
abusive, mean, negative part of the "jerk
personality".
I think that jerks JUST HAPPEN to also possess
several ATTRACTIVE qualities that are SO POWERFUL
that that they literally make women BLIND to the
abuse... women will rationalize and excuse the
abusive behavior because they are so attracted to
these other qualities.
Here's a PARTIAL list of what creates that
ATTRACTION:
-Unpredictable
-Uncontrollable
-Challenging
-Dominant
Of course, there are many more, but this will
get us started for this discussion.
The qualities I've listed above, when presented
correctly, trigger the natural "attraction
mechanism" inside of women.
Jerks have taken natural qualities that are
ATTRACTIVE to women a little "too far".
But because they're still there, the qualities
trigger the attraction anyway.
So what does this mean to you?
Well, the most important thing is that it means
you can still be a good guy AND attract women at
the same time.
You're probably going to have to learn how to
flirt in a different way, become a little more
comfortable being challenging to women, etc. But
in the end, you'll find that this will get you
what you want, and still allow you to treat women
well... all on your own terms.
It also means that instead of being the guy who
women talk to about their relationship problems,
and how their mean jerk boyfriend is being abusive
again... you can be the guy who they're dating and
sleeping with!
Yes!
Now I'd like you to take time to think about
what I've said here in this newsletter.
Think about how you can cultivate the four
qualities that I've mentioned above into your
personality.
See if you can be a little less predictable.
Don't let outside events or women control you.
Be more of a challenge.
Stop being submissive... and get in touch with
that side of you that is more dominant (I said
"dominant", not "domineering").
