Dating Tips and Strategies

Why Attractive Women Love Jerks

2007-07-14T10:19:00.000-07:00

I get a lot of emails from guys who read my
newsletter that say things like...

"I'm sure what you're saying is right, but I don't
want to be a jerk or an a**hole to women..."

"I have seen what you're talking about happen all
my life, but I'm a 'nice guy' and I want women to
like me for me..."

...and...

"This doesn't make sense..."

For most of my life, I was THE nice guy of nice
guys. As a matter of fact, when I first made the
decision to learn how to be successful with women,
this actually created an OBSTACLE for me.

Let me explain...

Because I believed that "being a nice guy" MUST
be the way to success with women, I ACTUALLY
COULDN'T EVEN PERCEIVE ANY OTHER WAY.

In other words, I could see a situation where a
woman was attracted to a mean, abusive guy and
think to myself that either she must be screwed up
in the head, or THAT THE GUY MUST BE REALLY NICE
TO HER THE REST OF THE TIME.

As you probably know, it's hard to convince a
person to believe something when they already have
a belief about the topic. The person that you're
trying to convince just uses whatever you say to
convince themselves that they're actually right...
and you're wrong.

I did the exact same thing.

No matter how much evidence I found to the
contrary, I still somehow believed that being a
"nice" guy, buying women flowers and gifts, taking
them out, and generally letting them be in control
of the relationship HAD to be the way to attract
them.

Well, after continuing along the same path and
getting the same results, I realized something
that literally changed EVERYTHING for me.

I realized that JERKS do, in fact, attract hot
women.

Selfish behavior, as unhealthy as this might
sound, often makes women feel attracted to you.

Sarcasm, ball busting, playing hard to get, and
all kinds of other "illogical" things really do
work when it comes to attracting women.

But then I had a dilemma...

I love the idea of being successful with women,
but I HATE the idea of mistreating people, being
mean to them, lying and misleading, etc.

Deep down, I want to be a good guy.

I decided that there MUST be a way to make this
work, and to attract women without being ABUSIVE.

The good news is that THERE IS a way.

But it requires that you put aside your current
ideas for just long enough to entertain some new
ones.

First, let me say that I believe I've found a
way to take the things that JERKS do to attract
women and use them WITHOUT THE ABUSE. When you
learn to do this, you can really have the best of
both worlds... you can be nice to women on your
own terms, and give them what they REALLY want,
and what REALLY attracts them.

So WHY DO WOMEN BECOME ATTRACTED TO JERKS?

The short answer is that they don't CHOOSE it,
it's something that just HAPPENS.

ATTRACTION ISN'T A CHOICE.

It's an emotional response to certain things.

Women don't CHOOSE to feel the emotion called
ATTRACTION for jerks any more than YOU choose to
feel the emotion called ATTRACTION for young,
beautiful, hardbodied women.

Nature has pre-programmed MEN with a mechanism
that works like this:

SEE HOT WOMEN ---> FEEL ATTRACTION

Well, women have a similar mechanism. But I
think that the female version is MORE COMPLEX.

Yes, women do feel attraction for extremely
handsome men... but they feel a MUCH STRONGER
ATTRACTION for certain PERSONALITY TRAITS and
BEHAVIORS than they do for physical looks alone.

So again, the short answer is that it's just
something that "happens" inside of a women. She
doesn't "choose" it.

So what is it about the "jerk" that creates
this powerful, uncontrollable ATTRACTION inside of
women?

Let me answer first by telling you what IT'S
NOT:

It's NOT the abuse (not usually anyway). I
don't believe that women are attracted to that
abusive, mean, negative part of the "jerk
personality".

I think that jerks JUST HAPPEN to also possess
several ATTRACTIVE qualities that are SO POWERFUL
that that they literally make women BLIND to the
abuse... women will rationalize and excuse the
abusive behavior because they are so attracted to
these other qualities.

Here's a PARTIAL list of what creates that
ATTRACTION:

-Unpredictable
-Uncontrollable
-Challenging
-Dominant

Of course, there are many more, but this will
get us started for this discussion.

The qualities I've listed above, when presented
correctly, trigger the natural "attraction
mechanism" inside of women.

Jerks have taken natural qualities that are
ATTRACTIVE to women a little "too far".

But because they're still there, the qualities
trigger the attraction anyway.

So what does this mean to you?

Well, the most important thing is that it means
you can still be a good guy AND attract women at
the same time.

You're probably going to have to learn how to
flirt in a different way, become a little more
comfortable being challenging to women, etc. But
in the end, you'll find that this will get you
what you want, and still allow you to treat women
well... all on your own terms.

It also means that instead of being the guy who
women talk to about their relationship problems,
and how their mean jerk boyfriend is being abusive
again... you can be the guy who they're dating and
sleeping with!

Yes!

Now I'd like you to take time to think about
what I've said here in this newsletter.

Think about how you can cultivate the four
qualities that I've mentioned above into your
personality.

See if you can be a little less predictable.

Don't let outside events or women control you.

Be more of a challenge.

Stop being submissive... and get in touch with
that side of you that is more dominant (I said
"dominant", not "domineering").

Eye Contact And Body Language To Attract Women

2007-07-08T12:02:00.000-07:00

***QUESTION***

Just wanted to share a little bit of what your
lessons have done for me. I read your book and
started concentrating on what I thought was my
weak points. I did as your book recommended and
started picturing myself as the cocky funny person
I wanted to be. I even did the whole daydream
practice thing everyday. I work at a fitness
center so I see lots of hot women all the time.
My biggest weakness is that I look away quickly
after eye contact is made. I decided that before
I started trying to approach women I would make it
my goal for a couple of weeks to just make eye
contact and hold it until they looked away. Ok,
here is the good part. After practicing eye
contact for a couple of weeks and doing the whole
mental exercise thing, I was at work one day
working out after my break and was practicing my
eye contact thing between sets with this really
hot girl near the dumbbell rack.

I knew she noticed but it never bothered me cause
I had no intentions of acting. Well, I had to go
over to get a set of dumbbells for my next
exercise and as I got close to where she was she
suddenly turned around and said "I have a
boyfriend" and turned around. Normally I would
have kinda stood there in shock and said nothing
but, I guess all that mental practice paid off.
With out even thinking or pausing the words just
came out. I said "Hey that's great I am happy for
you. (Pause - and in a lower tone) I know this is
probably a major accomplishment for you but to the
rest a the world this is kinda normal so you might
not want to go telling every stranger you see."
Then I just walked off with my weights to do my
sets. 5 min later she comes over to me and
apologizes and asks for my number. Turns out she
didn't have a boyfriend but was just tired of
being picked up by losers while she was trying to
do a workout. Thanks for the pleasant surprise!

KAL

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Niiiiice one.

Your letter is really a wonderful affirmation
and summary of some of my favorite concepts:

1) Read my book "Double Your Dating" 2) Actually
use the material and mentally rehearse 3) Start
from where you're at 4) Be Cocky & Funny 5) Show
complete indifference 6) Use illogical Jedi-Level
mind power to create ATTRACTION.

First of all, your story would make NO sense at
all to most guys. They would say "Yea, whatever.
She was probably abused as a child and wants you
to be her daddy" or "Well, if I worked at a gym I
could do that too".

Of course, you realize that this had nothing to
do with it... this was a result of you learning
about how women work, then preparing, and then taking
action.

I couldn't be more impressed.

Now let's talk about some of the things that
were happening that most people would MISS when
reading the story...

You mentioned your exercise of keeping eye
contact until women look away. This is very
powerful. I am guilty of not addressing this issue
more often and I'm glad you mentioned it here.

If you can learn this skill, it will
communicate powerfully for you. Great job.

You said "I guess all that mental practice paid
off. With out even thinking or pausing the words
just came out."

This is the result of preparation and mental
rehearsal. This wasn't "luck". Even though the
words were unique to the situation, the MESSAGE
was delivered clearly. By learning how to better
communicate in the language that women understand,
you created magic.

And as for the words themselves...

You just gotta love saying: "Hey that's great I
am happy for you. (Pause - and in a lower tone) I
know this is probably a major accomplishment for
you but to the rest a the world this is kinda
normal so you might not want to go telling every
stranger you see" to a hot woman at the gym!

You INSTANTLY took a situation that would
normally strip a man of all his composure and
personal power, and then REFRAMED her words in a
way that caused HER to look like the socially
inept one.

Then you did something equally powerful:

YOU WALKED AWAY.

In effect, you busted on her, then PROVED
BEYOND THE SHADOW OF A DOUBT THAT YOU COULD TAKE
HER OR LEAVE HER. Actions really do speak louder
than words... most guys would have messed up that
situation by standing around waiting for her to
say something. You did the right thing by walking
away.

When you combine all of these factors together,
you get a totally illogical outcome: ATTRACTION.

She realized that you weren't just some other
loser who hoped to maybe get a date by kissing up
to her... you turned out to be one of the
EXCEPTIONAL men in the world who have more
personal power than her, and one of the even MORE
exceptional men who also know how to create
ATTRACTION.

This combination made her feel a feeling that
you can't create by DECIDING that you want it. It
can only be created by TRIGGERING IT.

Finally, I'd like to comment on the fact that
SHE asked YOU for YOUR number. You realize that
it's not typical for a woman to approach a man,
apologize, and then ask for his number.

Women will often ask a man for his number just
to get rid of him. But not in a situation like
this one. This was different. She apologized, then
told you that she's tired of being picked up by
losers... then asked for your number. This was, in
effect, her telling you that she sees you
DIFFERENTLY.

All because of your eye contact, followed by a
perfect execution of the Cocky and Funny attitude,
followed by an excellent physical demonstration of
indifference.

Again, to most men this would make no sense at
all. If you consulted most relationship books,
they would argue that this type of approach would
NEVER work. I mean, men are supposed to "court"
women, compliment them... pursue them with gifts
and favors, right?

Yea, right.

The problem is that the mainstream relationship
books forgot to TITLE the chapter that suggests
this kind of behavior:

"HOW TO BE THE WUSS WOMEN RUN FROM"

...or...

"HOW TO CONVINCE THE WOMAN YOU DESIRE THAT YOU
HAVE NO BACKBONE AND WOULD PAY ANY PRICE FOR HER
ATTENTION"

...or...

"SIMPLE TECHNIQUES FOR GIVING A WOMAN YOUR
REPRODUCTIVE EQUIPMENT ON A PLATTER".

The question I have for you is...

CAN YOU PUT ASIDE YOUR PRE-CONCEIVED NOTIONS
ABOUT WHY MEN AND WOMEN "SHOULD" BE ATTRACTED TO
EACH OTHER LONG ENOUGH TO SEE WHY THEY ACTUALLY
ARE ATTRACTED TO EACH OTHER?

And can you do what it takes to get yourself
from where you are to where you actually need to
be in order to attract the kinds of women that you
would like to meet and date?

How To Fix Shyness And Fear Of Women

2007-07-08T11:02:00.000-07:00

***QUESTION***

Hi David!

I've bought your book only a few months ago so I'm
just a beginner. I can't give you success stories
yet. I met a bisexual women on a dating site. She
lives nearby (about 5 minute walk!). I started a
conversation and at first she seemed interested!
My strategy was to meet as soon as possible
because of the short distance. I asked her if she
liked to have an ice-cream in the park. She said
no. I gave it a rest for a few weeks, and then
started writing messages again. I think I became
too personal at some point and she responded: "I
don't know what you mean, I'm totally
uninterested, leave me alone, thank you.".

After that I still had a small conversation and she
wrote back a few times. She was not angry, and as
a reason she said she had contacted some other
guys and she wanted to do fun things with them
(but I think it was something else). My question
is. Could she just be saying "give me some time"?
My idea is, that if she says something like that,
I should leave her alone completely. But would it
hurt to send a message, maybe a month or so later?
How would you get attraction going on after this?
R. from Europe

>>>MY COMMENTS:

OK, well I have a hard time believing that
you've read my book... because you obviously need
to read it AGAIN.

If I were you, I'd re-read it every few days
until something changes in the way you look at
these situations.

Ice cream in the park?

Huh?

Is that in "Chapter 17: How To Be A Dork"?

Maybe I forgot about that part of the book.

Look, you need to pay closer attention to what
I'm saying, and quit trying to improvise with the
bisexual babes on the internet.

If a woman doesn't respond to you initially,
move on.

Get over it.

Especially on internet dating sites.

There are MILLIONS of women on these sites, so
just get on to the next one.

Try a few of the ideas that I mention in my
book in your responses. Place an ad of your own,
or several. Notice what works, and keep doing it.

And let me do a little translating for you.
When a woman says:

"I don't know what you mean, I'm totally
uninterested, leave me alone, thank you."

...what she REALLY means is:

"I don't know what you mean, I'm totally
uninterested, leave me alone, thank you."

Thank you.

***QUESTION***

What else can I say but you are the sh#@. I read
your book and it changed my life. I went from
almost never talking to women at all, (and when I
did I would just say wussy remarks) to being the
local mack daddy complete with pimp cane and
feathered hat. I went to visit my cousin in OH
recently and we went on a double date. Apparently
he had been working on a girl for some time and
she just brought a friend for me. The whole night
I was busting on both of the girls. It got to the
point where the girl my cousin was with started
flirting and touching me a lot along with the girl
I was with.

You just have to look at the situation
and find something to make fun of. Its just like
when you're a kid and you dont really care about
what other people think, you just say whats on
your mind. Well, anyways we went out to a movie
the next day and I just kept laying the cocky and
funny on her.

She started touching me in the movie
and stuff and long story short it ended up with me
having sex with her. And this was a girl I had
only met a few days ago. The hardest part for me
was overcoming the care of what other people think
and situations that would probably not happen (her
getting offended, etc.) I am a huge fan of your
book and newsletters.

It seem like whenever I have a question about something
you do a newsletter on it. I'm really considering buying your
Advancedseries stuff. Heres my question. Does your DVD
program have anything extra on it that the CD
program doesnt have beside being video of course?

Thanks for everything.

C.P. St. Louis, MO

>>>MY COMMENTS: Yea, well Pimp Canes and
Feather Hats are optional.

They are not absolutely necessary.

Good job with the materials, you obviously GET
IT.

And it's true... one of the main things that us
guys need to overcome is this whole idea of caring
what other people think. It doesn't MATTER what
other people think.

The only thing that matters is what HAPPENS as
a result of what you do.

To answer your question about my Advanced
Series...

It's the same material on both the CD and DVD
versions.

Both are great, and I guarantee that when you
watch or listen to this program it will BLOW YOUR
MIND. There is so much in that program that will
help you improve... it's amazing.

Great job, and thanks for the email.

***COMMENTS FROM A WOMAN***

Hi, I just wanted to let you know that I wish
more guys would listen to your advice. I am a
very attractive young lady and have guys hitting
on me all the time. There is nothing intriguing
about the person who immediately lets you know how
happy or surprised they are that you even talked
to them.

If they put the girl up too high on a
pedestal, it just makes the guy completely
expendable because obviously the girl can "do
better" (at least in the guy's mind). Please
keep giving advice and guys, please listen... It
works. M.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Exactly. I like the way you explained this...

"There is nothing intriguing about the person
who immediately lets you know how happy or
surprised they are that you even talked to them."

Nice.

You know, I should start a "David D. Fanclub",
and only let women join.

Of course, it would be very expensive...

***QUESTION***

I have said this and I will say it again! Man,
your stuff is excellent! By far the best I have
ever read, or heard! I can tell why this was your
calling! Today, I attained 3 emails/phone numbers
from 3 very attractive girls in ONE DAY! That's
definitely a record for me! Once I listened to
your lesson about creating my own reality, I feel
like I can just walk up to ANY GIRL I WANT, and
KNOW that I will do a good job
socializing/flirting with them, whether they are
responsive to it or not doesn't mean ANYTHING to
me, because it's THEIR problem, not MINE.

This one particular case, I was with this girl
that I've been talking to for a while, and we went
down to a church hangout because I had left my
bookbag in there from the night before we went
down there. Well, she offers to drive me down
there and I take the offer (btw - I bust on her
about her car that she adores sooo much all the
way down there and she loves it).

Anyway, by the time I get down there with her, I find my bookbag,
and we stay down there and talk with some friends
for a bit. Well, it turns out that about 2 other
guys are hitting on her and flirting with her, so
I just sat in the couch and started talking to
another girl. Anyhoo, I notice that these guys are
flirting a little bit differently from the way I
do it. I almost never compliment a girl when I'm
flirting with her, but these guys did. I'm
wondering, does the compliment hurt or help?
Various dating coaches everywhere tell me
different answers, but I know yours will be the
right one. So is it good to compliment girls, or
is it bad?

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Nice!

Three emails and numbers in one day... that's
not too shabby, my friend.

I can remember not-too-long-ago in my life
thinking that something like this would be
IMPOSSIBLE.

But, as you obviously know, it's not at all.

To answer your question about compliments...

If you have ZERO GAME, then showering a woman
with compliments will work better than NOTHING.

But think about it...

If you walk up to a woman and start giving her
compliments left and right, what is she going to
be thinking?

Right.

She's going to think to herself "Yea, this guy
is obviously into me big time. I own him."

There's no mystery, no challenge, nothing
interesting at all.

It's what EVERY guy does. And it's usually
perceived as BORING and PREDICTABLE.

Now, there are ways to give women compliments
that don't give all your power away... but giving
a woman a compliment is usually a SELFISH thing to
do. It's using words to try to GET something from
a woman.

Ironically, even though many of my ideas and
concepts appear to be a little on the "cruel"
side, they are actually all about giving women
what they REALLY want.

Look, if you're getting three numbers in a day,
then you're on the right track.

Your girl may have been smiling politely as the
Wussbags were kissing up to her, but who got the
three numbers that day?

***QUESTION***

Dave...

I've always been really shy and introverted. And,
obviously, it has not exactly worked to my
advantage with dating. I've done all sorts of
things to get rid of this shyness - I took a job
as a waiter, a salesperson, taken public speaking
classes, read books etc.. and nothing has worked
nearly as well as your e-Book and e-mails!! Thanks
a ton - you've given me superior confidence and I
owe it all to you.

Now, onto the question...

In addition to being a bit shy, I have also always
been a pretty witty, sarcastic guy which really
helped when developing a more CF attitude.
Whenever I'm talking to girls, I ALWAYS get socked
in the arm or get that that "Oh no you didn't"
look. However, I can't approach girls for the life
of me. But, once I'm "in there", I just have these
girls on a string, like a marionette. What do you
say?

Ciao!

DF Bloomington, IN

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Well, I can really appreciate where you're
coming from on this one.

Let me mention quickly that I've really put a
lot of time and effort into making my materials
"shy guy friendly" and I've focused on teaching
things that any guy can use...even if you're
"naturally" very shy.

I've been there.

I can remember times in the past where I've sat
looking at a girl for HOURS... without being able
to work up enough nerve to walk over and start a
conversation... and then I'd go home and think
about it for DAYS. I'm with you.

I'm going to give you an idea for how to
overcome your shyness and approach women, and then
I'm going to give you a recommendation.

Here's the idea first:

GET ONLINE AND START THERE.

Go download one of the free instant messengers
that are available online, and spend an evening
starting conversations with random women online.

I did this quite a bit myself, and it helped me
TREMENDOUSLY.

Try different things.

Say "Hi".

Say "You sound like you're probably pretty
old".

Say "You spelled a word wrong in your profile".

Say "You're exactly what I've been looking for.
Let's get married and drive to Vegas. Are you
game?".

In other words, just play around and see what
kinds of responses you get.

Of course, don't say anything overly bizarre or
vulgar... the internet cops might take away your
internet connection or something spooky. But
just learn how to deal with that initial jolt of
emotion that you get when you're starting a
conversation with a woman that you don't know.

Keep it up until:

1) You can sit down anytime and start a
conversation with a woman on the internet without
hesitating.

2) You're getting positive responses. (I'm not
talking about women saying "Hey hot stuff, come
over now!". I'm talking about women just
responding by talking to you.)

This will help you to understand that your fear
of approaching and starting conversations with
women is UNFOUNDED.

In other words, you'll SEE WITH YOUR OWN TWO
EYES that nothing bad is going to happen to you if
a woman doesn't want to talk to you.

You'll also see that some women are busy, some
are not nice people, and some are friendly and
open.

Said differently, you'll realize that it's not
about YOU when a woman doesn't respond to you
warmly... and it won't HURT you, either.

Next, get out into the real world and start
making small talk with women... WITH NO INTENTION
OF TAKING THINGS ANY FURTHER THAN THAT
CONVERSATION.

When you start a conversation thinking "I want
to get that girl's number", it puts HUGE PRESSURE
on you... ESPECIALLY if you're not comfortable
doing things like approaching women.

So chill.

Go to the mall, and walk into EVERY store.

When a sales girl says "Can I help you with
something?" respond by saying "I don't think
you're qualified to give me the kind of help that
I need, but thanks for the offer".

If you wind up buying something in one of the
stores, ask the girl for a 50% discount.

When she asks why, tell her that it should be
obvious... it's because she thinks you're special.

After you've had fun, walk away. Leave.

Don't worry about getting numbers or dates.
Just work on starting conversations in "easy"
situations (where the women are PAID to talk and
be nice to you).

Do this three or four times over the course of
a few weeks, and you'll start to change how you
THINK about these types of situations. You'll SEE
how women will respond, and it will change how you
FEEL.

Finally, remember that it's not NECESSARY to
learn how to approach women that you don't know...
if you don't want to.

There are PLENTY of situations that allow you
to meet women without ever having to "approach"
them.

Go check out some dance classes. Try swing or
salsa. Imagine being able to:

1) Learn how to dance (which women think is
hot)

AND...

2) Have one conversation after another as you
change partners...

Now, there are all kinds of places like this
where you can skip the "approaching women" step
and just move right into the Cocky & Funny or
getting numbers.

Put your mind to it, and do a little thinking.
Look around. Opportunities like this are
everywhere.

How To Fix Shyness And Fear Of Women

2007-07-08T10:43:00.000-07:00

***SUCCESS STORY***

Dave,

Okay...what the heck are you the bomb or what? I
have been getting your emails for about two and a
half months now and it was amusing at first
because it couldn't have come at a better time
(right after a break up). I have to say that the
first few weeks had me and I went and finally got
the book last week. Read it and tried some of the
techniques and man I have to tell you that this
must be some cosmic sh*t because it actually
freakin WORKS IN THE REAL WORLD. Not only online,
not only in bars, but everywhere there is a female
there can be success!!!

Anyway on to my story, me and a couple of buddies
of mine hang out at a local Wing House during the
week and have done so before I got the book and
your mail bags. Usually we would mess with the
girls that work there with mild success (never any
numbers or anything) and if you are familiar with
Hooters girls think... hotter. So after reading
your mail bags and getting your book, I started
messing and busting on this particular new girl by
doing things that before reading your emails I
thought would surely piss people off, she would do
things like empty the ashtrays and I would put
dirty napkins in them, she would be all slow at
getting me refills and I would bust on her for not
doing her job as good as other girls there, I
would catch her looking at me occasionally and I
would point at my glass like, "Hellooo...".

I was being a total annoyance the whole time! At the end
of the night I left her a nice tip and we ran into
each other at the beach about three days later.
She told me that when she met me she thought I was
a smartass but that "it's attractive". I thought
to myself "HOLY CRAP she just admitted to me this
stuff works!! The Cocky Funny thing is the
shiznit!!!" Of course I continued to bust on her
even then saying that she was lucky I was in a
good mood and that she has a cute smile because if
it wasn't for that, I would have not even
remembered her.

So I asked her what she was doing
and she said, she was going to Sea World and that
I should go with her, she would treat....again,
WHOAH!!! I declined and said that I had some other
plans but I was wanting some wings she said for me
to come by on her next shift where she would get
off at 9 pm. She wanted me to come by at 9 so that
we can have some drinks after her shift!!! Man I
can't say enough how easy this stuff was to
implement!!! And it works like a charm.

When me and my group of friends left the beach she ran up
to me (looking all fine in her bikini) and gave me
a big hug and a kiss on the lips...you have to
understand, this chick is a 9 easy!!!! Man I had a
damn "colgate" smile all the way home that day and
still do to this day.

You is the man, and you have no idea how nice it
is to have this sort of confidence now, well wait,
I guess you do huh? LOL.

Much Gratitude Bro!

A. from Orlando.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Yea, you suck... and your friends hate you.

Well, so be it.

I'll tell you something, I know EXACTLY what
you're talking about when you say that this girl
told you that you were a smartass, but that "it's
attractive".

The things that make women feel ATTRACTION are
not exactly "logical" at first glance.

In fact, some of the things that can cause a
woman to feel a powerful SEXUAL ATTRACTION for a
man are things that most guys wouldn't
"accidentally try" in a million years.

I can clearly remember one night I was out with
a good friend who was trying to show me a few
things about how to meet women...

We were talking to two cute girls... and he was
"taking the lead".

I couldn't understand WHAT he was doing.

He was acting arrogant, making fun of them,
being difficult, and doing all kinds of things
that I would NEVER do.

Of course, he wound up inviting the two girls
back to his house... and they came along with us
(and as I recall, they actually drove us home).

Again, this made ZERO sense to me.

He wasn't being "nice" at all.

In fact, he was being rather arrogant and
fussy.

But as I was to learn later, there was
SOMETHING ELSE GOING ON... and the WOMEN
UNDERSTOOD IT.

There is something very powerful about
demonstrating that you're not needy, acting "too
comfortable" around women, and even teasing them.
It says all the right things, and it triggers
something that you can't trigger with "being
nice".

One of my favorite jokes to use with waitresses
is to wait until they make a mistake, forget
something, or even just say "I'm sorry, we're out
of that tonight".

I shoot right back "Could we get a new waitress
please? I'm afraid you're just not going to work
out tonight".

Of course, I have a very serious face when I
say this.

It's obvious that I'm exaggerating, so it makes
her laugh.

It's arrogant, crass, and kind of rude.

But it's also damn funny, and it says ALL the
right things.

Thanks for your email.

And remember... you suck, and your friends hate
you now.

Filters Of Insecurity

2007-07-06T04:43:00.000-07:00

Howdy, danclocks

Today I have a question for you.

Have you ever been in a situation where you were talking with
somebody and you took something they said the wrong way? In
other words, you misinterpreted their meaning and got upset, only
to find out later that it was all in your head?

An example: guy 1 says to guy 2, "Wow, looks like you got the
short end of the stick on that one!'

Guy 2 has some issues and insecurities about his height, and he
responds, "What do you mean, short end? What are you saying, I'm
short? Who cares, why do you have to be such a jerk?!"

Guy 1 is left scratching his head and explaining that, no, that's
not what he meant, he was just saying blah blah blah...

That's just the first example off the top of my head, but I think
everybody has had one of these experiences at one time or
another.

I know I have... and looking back, they've comprised some of the
most embarrassing, red-in-the-face moments of my life.

Why are they so embarrassing? Think about it: when you
misunderstand what someone says as a personal attack, it serves
to highlight, boldface and underline your insecurities for
everyone around. If you hadn't said anything, nobody would have
thought twice.

When something like this happens, it's the result of something
we call "filters of insecurity". Everyone has these to one degree
or another, they are like tinted glasses inside our heads that
color everything we perceive.

I'll give you another example.

Let's say that a person of high self-esteem and a person of low
self-esteem are given the same compliment, "Nice jacket, that's
cool."

Now, the person wth high self-esteem is likely to graciously
accept the compliment and move on. "Thanks, man."

But the person with low self-esteem might interpret the remark as
sarcastic or condescending. His internal filters of insecurity
about his appearance actually change the way he hears things and
transform this innocent compliment into a snide dig about his
lame jacket.

Do you see the difference?

Now, let's imagine that these same two people are on the
receiving end of an INSULT. "Hey man, nice hair, looks like you
got electrocuted!"

The guy with low self-esteem will be crushed. His internal state
will be broken, and he may even respond with a choice insult of
his own, or some sort of expletive.

The guy with high self-esteem, however, might interpret it as a
JOKE. "Haaa! That's pretty funny, dude, you're hilarious...
electrocuted, listen to this guy hahahaaa!" See, not only is he
free of filters of insecurity, he has filters of CONFIDENCE
which proactively defend him against attacks like this.

The point is this: because the high self-esteem guy interpreted
the insult as a JOKE, it BECOMES a joke, not only to him but to
everyone around him. Same with the low self-esteem guy's reaction
to the compliment.

The INTEPRETATION becomes the MEANING, for all intents and
purposes. Perception is reality.

This is related to a concept I've talked about in this newsletter
before, the concept of FRAME CONTROL. Your frame is the way you
perceive things to be in any given situation. In any social
interaction, the strongest frame "wins", and the others are
sucked into it.

Think of how you would behave if a cop came up to you with his
hand on his gun, and started asking you a bunch of questions.
You would probably choose your words carefully, adjust your
posture to be non-threatening, and refer to him as "sir" or
"officer". You might not be able to hold eye contact as long as
you would with another person.

Now, imagine if a ten year old kid came up and started asking
you the same questions. It's unlikely that you would even give
much thought to how you responded. It's even less likely that
you'd have difficulty keeping eye contact.

For a person of high status, they view the entire world the same
way you would think of the ten year old.

You see, tolerance to social pressure is a conveyor of status.
Demonstrating status and value is perhaps THE most important, most
crucial asspect of running game.

Your inner game affects your ability to withstand social pressure.
And like it or not, your inner game WILL manifest itself through
your body language, voice, eye contact, and countless other cues.

This is why it's important to pinpoint your filters of insecurity
and do whatever is necessary to eradicate them.

So, with that in mind, I'm going to list some of the most commmon
filters of insecurity for you here. Let's go.

1. Being stuck in your head. You'll see this one a lot. Have
you ever been talking to somebody, and they seem like they're
not really listening to you, but they're somewhere else? They're
probably doing this. It's basically not paying attention to
other people because you're focused on your next move, or you're
thinking about logistics or something like that. When you do this,
you're not living in the moment, and it can end up hurting you.

A social interaction is a living, dynamic thing, and to avoid
making social errors, you need to pay attention to the people
you're interacting with. Get out of your own head.

2. Nervousness. With this one, your fear of failure colors
everything around you. Think about how this sabotages your game.
A person of true high status wouldn't view social interaction as
something having potentially negative consequences. If you're
portraying yourself as someone of high status but underneath,
you're nervous, it's gonna show.

You've gotta shake that nervousness. Remember, it's called "the
GAME" for a reason!

3. Paranoia. This is another big one. This is what was going on in
the example above with the short guy, and it's particularly
insidious. You're gaming a girl and you hear laughter behind you,
and you instantly assume they're laughing AT YOU. Your state
breaks. Turns out they were laughing at a joke they just heard, but
that's irrelevant. The damage is already done, and so are you.

Remember, just because you're paranoid it doesn't mean they're
NOT out to get you... but behave as though it does anyway. :)

4. Self-monitoring. This is related to #1, but it's worse in a
certain sense. It's actually like #1 and #2 COMBINED. You're
constantly analyzing the reaction to everything you say to make
sure it's well-received. You're walking on eggshells, carefully
selecting the words that come out of your mouth. Basically, you're
being what we call OUTCOME DEPENDENT, which reeks of NEEDINESS.

Live in the moment and let go of any concerns you have about the
outcome.

5. Undeservedness. I used to be massively guilty of this one. I
would approach extremely beautiful girls and then inexplicably
screw it up. I couldn't understand this for the longest time,
because when I'd go up to regular girls, I'd have no problem
running picture-perfect game. I knew exactly what to do, but for
some reason, when I hit up a 9, I'd forget everything I'd learned
and act like an idiot.

I realized it was related to filters of insecurity. I felt that I
didn't DESERVE to get these hot, hot girls, because I wasn't good-
looking enough myself. It wasn't until I understood this and
rejected the idea that I started having success with the elite
calibre women. You should do the same.

6. Fear of expression. Have you ever had stage fright? That's what
this is. Make no mistake, when you're running game on a girl, it's
no different that getting up on stage and singing in front of a
crowd. It's an expression. All game is the expression of your
inner state, conveyed by the rhythms you use to direct the energy
of the interaction.

If you want to have success in pickup, you've got to be unafraid
to get up there and shine. That's what charisma is all about, and
people are drawn to it like a magnet.

7. Arrogant beliefs. Someone with arrogant beliefs refuses to
acknowledge that they can learn anything from someone else. This
can hinder your development as a pick up artist, because often
times the biggest revelations can come from unlikely sources. For
example, believe it or not, every time I do a bootcamp, I end up
learning something from the student that I'll incorporate into
my game.

Always keep the student frame.

8. Hinging self esteem on what others think. If you have this
particular filter in your head, your state is easily broken as
soon as anyone launches an attack on you. Unfortunately, this
betrays you as someone with a weak frame who is not of high
status, and sinks your game.

Always keep in mind that your success or failure at this game has
nothing to do with your value as a person, any more than your
ability to shoot a basketball does. It's just a skill.

9. Fear to break rapport. Many students I work with are plagued
by this, they are afraid to be perceived as "rude". What they
don't realize is, in many situations, breaking rapport is in fact
the correct course of action, for example when someone tries to
tool you, or in the initial stages of the pick-up, to build
attraction. But these guys are so paralyzed by the idea that they
might be thought of asa rude, that they fail to act and watch the
house of cards come tumbling down.

Don't be a doormat. Stand up and be counted; break rapport when
it's necessary.

10. Need to entertain. Also known as "The Curse of the Dancing
Monkey". Characterized by a feeling that you have to impress
others, lest they grow bored and run away. Basically, this is
indicative of a lack of confidence. You don't feel intrinsically
valuable, so you bust out all these jokes and gimmicks in an
attempt to hold the attention of the group.

Sure, you hold their attention. But all you're doing is providing
them with their entertainment for the night. When closing time
rolls around, it's, "Thank you very much and goodnight." You're
going home alone. Lose this need to entertain, drop it like a hot
rock.

Confidence Leads To Attraction

2007-07-04T09:43:00.000-07:00

Be confident and assert yourself.
The guys who are successful and happy in their lives, and who
realize that they don't need women to make them happy, attract
chicks like there's no tomorrow.

This is no coincidence.

They are successful and happy because they have brought success and
happiness into their own lives instead of waiting for a woman to
bring it. These successful men know that they have the power to
achieve happiness without a woman. They don't need women.

What does this add up to?

Challenge: They are not going to jump through hoops for a woman, and
they are certainly not going to place any woman on a pedestal.

Confidence: How many successful and happy people do you know who
don't have confidence?

Indifference: What do they care if a man or woman likes them or
doesn't like them? What do they care if they get rejected? They
already have happiness and success and therefore they conduct
themselves with complete confidence and take rejection with ease;
what's more, they're very unlikely to be rejected. He has a life of
his own to live, it doesn't revolve around women.

Fun: A happy man knows how to have fun. He can be cocky and funny,
and he knows how to have a good time.

A true chick magnet is a guy who is happy and successful.

How does he become happy and successful? It's not easily achieved,
but the first step is to realize that you and only you can bring
happiness into your own life. How is this done?

Well, here are a few quick and easy ways to achieve happiness:

- Generosity
- Optimism
- Being a risk-taker
- Listening to your favorite music
- Getting fit
- Stimulating your mind
- Smiling
- Laughing

But by far the best way to achieve the most happiness is by working
toward your goals in life, working hard for them, and achieving
them. This is the greatest source of happiness and success, and
hence the greatest source of chick magnetism.

How To Tell A Woman That You Like Her

2007-06-26T16:04:00.001-07:00

THIS WEEK'S QUESTION:

I have recently started to like this girl a lot. We
hang out almost everyday, and everybody that is around
us say that we act like we are going out. We flirt
all of the time, but i dont want to be the one that
admits that i like her first. I have also become really
good friends with one of her friends and she told
her friend that she likes me and everything, but she
hasn't really had too much experience in dating.

She is one of the nicest girls in the world and she
is very pretty so I dont really understand why. I
really want to tell her that i like her, but i have
read your book and you always seem to push getting
the girl to admit it to you first. I think she may
be too shy to do this though. Would it be ok to admit
it to her first in this situation? I know you probably
think hanging out with her everyday seems needy, but
she is the one that calls me everyday and it is very
hard to turn her down. Any suggestions would be greatly
apreciated. Thanks.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Nice.

Well, today is your lucky day... for today I'm going
to give you advice that will probably be PRICELESS
to you.

First let me start with some ranting, raving, and
confusing double-talk.

Then we'll get to the good stuff.

Let's begin with me verbally abusing you for not paying
attention to what I say, then drift into a little
bit of talking about why your situation is an exception
to a general rule or two...

THE VERBAL ABUSE:

It's annoying when I go to all the trouble to explain
a concept in detail... and try 100 ways to say it
in my newsletters, eBook, etc. and then someone JUST
DOESN'T GET IT.

In your email you say:

"I really want to tell her that i like her, but
i have read your book and you always seem to push
getting the girl to admit it to you first."

Now, what I'm about to say might sound a little
bit "trivial" to you. You might say "semantics" like
the smart people do.

But pay attention.

CLOSE attention.

I do not recommend that you get a woman to admit
that she likes you FIRST.

Getting a woman to admit that she likes you "first"
naturally implies that you "admit it" BACK.

And I DO NOT say "admit it back" OR "admit it later"
OR anything else of the sort.

Why is this so important?

Simple, really.

I personally believe that TELLING a woman that
you "like her" is one of the WORST things you can
do.

If you want a woman to know that you like her,
the best way is to have her FIGURE IT OUT by the fact
that you guys are getting PHYSICALLY INVOLVED.

Let me confuse the issue further...

"Telling her" that you like her and "feeling like
you really want to tell her" are two completely different
issues, and they're BOTH bad... but for different
reasons.

TELLING her is bad because it takes the MAGIC,
the SUSPENSE, the MYSTERY, and the SEXUAL TENSION
out of the situation.

It pops the balloon.

It's kills the chemistry.

FEELING like you want to tell her and then asking
about HOW to tell her is bad because it shows that
you're not GETTING IT.

ANOTHER TANGENT

All right, so let's go off on tangent number 2...

You mentioned in your email that this girl you're
seeing is inexperienced in the dating world.

If she's REALLY inexperienced, then you might be
in big trouble.

See, she might be falling IN LOVE with you.

All of this seeing her every day business but not
taking things to the next level (and feeling like
you want to tell her how you feel really really really
badly) might be setting her up emotionally for a late-night
drive to Vegas and marriage vows at the Drive Thru
with Elvis.

If a woman is inexperienced, then it's very important
that you NOT screw this up. If you do, it might be
bad.

Another thought: When you're with an inexperienced
woman, it's sometimes a good idea to "dial down" the
ball-busting and the Cocky & Funny a little bit.

Instead of having it turned up to a 9.5, dial it
back to a 5.7923 setting. That will probably work
better for you and her.

WHAT TO DO

So let's talk a bit about ATTRACTION.

It happens for reasons that are difficult to explain
to a person who has a "bad model" of how it works.

But let's just say that if it DOES happen, you
want to AMPLIFY it. You don't want to WEAKEN it.

One of the problems with "telling her how you feel"
is that it instantly changes the dynamics of the situation.

When you say "I like you", in her head the woman
hears:

"He is admitting to me that he likes me, which
gives me all the power, which, for some strange reason,
makes me not like him as much anymore."

I realize that this sounds crazy, and doesn't make
a whole lot of "logical sense", but it's what usually
happens.

If you want to "tell" a woman that you "like her",
the best way to do it is to ADVANCE PHYSICALLY.

In other words, TAKE THINGS TO THE NEXT LEVEL.

DO something, don't SAY something.

Words are to be used when ACTIONS don't work better.

And this isn't one of those cases.

Remember "The Kiss Test" I talk about on my website?

Use it.

Remember the exact sequence that I describe in
the bonus booklet that you got with Double Your Dating
called "Sex Secrets"?

Use it.

But DO NOT "tell her how you feel".

Unless, of course, you want to drive to Vegas.

Finally, let me give you some advice about this
situation of "she calls me everyday to hang out and
I can't turn her down".

TURN HER DOWN.

I know, I know... Powerful.

If you're in love with this girl and want to marry
her, have kids with her, drive your cute brats to
soccer practice in your green minivan, and wear lots
of Dockers clothing, then forget what I'm telling
you.

Who knows, you might have found one of those rare,
wonderful women that so many of us guys are looking
for.

But if you're just at the stage where it's time
to take things to the next level, then do it with
your ACTION, not with your WORDS.

Now, if you're reading what I'm telling this guy,
and saying "I really need to learn how to make women
feel attraction for me", then I have to agree with
you.

What To Do & Talk About On Dates With Women

2007-06-26T15:39:00.000-07:00

Hey Danclocks

Tell me if this sounds familiar to you...

You meet an interesting woman and you get her
contact information...

You call her up to get a date with her... and she
says "YES"...

You hang up the phone and smile to yourself.

You did it... IT'S ON.

The day comes and you feel that excitement in your
stomach.

You meet up with her and head out... everything
feels good... she seems to be in a good mood.

And then it happens...

Things slow down.

The jokes and conversations start to feel "forced"
and awkward.

You wonder if she notices... and if she feels the
same...

Things aren't looking good... you tell yourself to
RELAX... snap out of it!

But there's just no denying that the energy you
felt at the beginning of the date just isn't there
anymore.

Then she mentions she has to go to bed early.

You walk her back to her car.

She gives you the one-arm "friend hug", jumps in
her car, and drives off.

Forever.

OUCH!

Has this ever happened to you?

And let me ask you this... be honest:

Has this happened to you CONSISTENTLY?

If so, you're not alone. I know this scenario well
because I've personally experienced it several
PAINFUL times.

And I don't know about you, but the times this
happened to me were usually with a girl I was VERY
interested in.

Why does it always seem to happen with the GOOD
ones?

And, more importantly, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING
ON HERE?

All that time and energy finally finding a great
girl, all the energy and time to get a date and plan
something fun... and then it just DIES.

Here's some encouragement:

The reason this happened is because you didn't
know what to do, how to behave, and WHAT TO SAY when
you were with her... to make her feel excited about
being with you, and cause her to feel attraction for
you.

And, most importantly... you didn't know what to
say or do to lead things in the DIRECTION things
things should have gone.

Most guys think that getting the date in the first
place gets them most of the way "home".

It's just not true.

The REAL challenge comes when you're one-on-one
with a girl, sitting across from her with a cup of
tea in front of you... and she's looking at you
hoping that you're not another pervy DWEEB that's
just going to act like nervous dumbass.

To make things worse, there aren't a lot of
"instruction manuals" that teach guys what to do and
say with women on dates... to make the woman feel
ATTRACTION.

This is an ENTIRELY DIFFERENT set of skills than
the ability to approach a woman and get her phone
number and email address. And these skills are at
LEAST as important.

If you can't hold up a conversation with a woman
when you finally do get together with her, chances
are you won't EVER get together with her again... as
you know.

Here's some more good news:

I believe that learning to create and keep up
exciting conversations with women is a lot like
learning how to tie a necktie.

If you don't know where to start, it's almost
impossible to figure out on your own.

But once you know the exact steps, after a couple
of tries you can get it right every time... without
even having to really think about it.

And just like tying a necktie, you can learn to
create and keep alive exciting conversations with
women... CONSISTENTLY and EFFORTLESSLY... once you
know the steps to do it right.

I just did an interview with a guy who has some
KILLER, paint-by-numbers strategies for creating
conversations that women love.

He's a master of making women feel comfortable and
curious about him, building attraction and sexual
tension FAST, and keeping conversations "hot" for as
long as he likes (which is usually until the woman
jumps on him).

In this great interview I did with him, he
"spilled the beans" on the exact steps he uses to do
this CONSISTENTLY... even when a woman isn't giving
him a whole lot of "material" to work with.

This guy is very experienced with women. He's one
of those guys I call "A Natural". He has met and
dated women all around the world... so he has a
particular kind of experience and perspective that
cuts across all racial and cultural lines.

He's built quite a reputation for himself with his
unique strategies and insights... and several of my
friends have been telling me for years now that I
just HAD to interview this guy...

And I gotta tell ya, he didn't disappoint.

I can't even begin to tell you about all of the
interesting techniques he shared.

I had to do a lot of editing on this program
because I paused so much during the conversation
while taking notes!

He's a very smart fellow, and during our interview
he also touched on how men can use their INTELLIGENCE
to give themselves a unique advantage that "jerks"
and "muscleheads" can't hope to compete with...

He also shared 3 startling signs women use to tell
if a man is "faking confidence" that most men miss
entirely... and even some confident men give off
accidentally (listen up!).

And that was only the beginning. Here are a few
more of the brand-new nuggets he shared:

-The 2 conversation topics you MUST HIT with every
woman you date (A secret of the "naturals" that
creates an INSTANT emotional bond)

-How to use subtle physical touches to build SEXUAL
TENSION early on in a conversation

-Silent "Cocky Comedy" - How keeping a woman on the
edge of COMFORT and DISCOMFORT makes her see you as
a SEXUAL POWERHOUSE who knows exactly how to please
a woman (A potent 5-minute fix that ensures you'll
never hear the words "just friends" again)

-The one thing EXTREMELY DESIRABLE women use to spot
an "average" man from a mile away

-Conversational tactics that practically force a
woman to pursue YOU (You'll use these with every new
woman that you meet)

-The subtle change in voice tone you MUST MAKE after
the first few minutes with a woman (A simple way to
communicate that you're EXPERIENCED and DESIRABLE
without actually SAYING it)

-The 9 words to say to a woman when she says "Let's
just be friends"... that turn the situation around
and put YOU back in control

-How to "screen" women by asking questions that make
them want to impress you

-The different kinds of body language and voice tones
you should use in each situation with a woman (The
BEST WAY to intensify the power of everything else
you do)

-A secret that intelligent guys can use to give
themselves an "unfair" advantage over other men

-The primal body language "dances" that go on during
an interaction between a man and a woman (When you
know how this works you'll ALWAYS be able to lead
things in the right direction)

-A way to use "mixed" body language signals to make a
woman feel comfortable around you (and want to be
close to you)

-What to do when you're worried she's "not feeling
it" (Use this secret "Get Out Of Jail Free" card to
RE-attract her FAST... even if you're feeling
nervous)

-How to "spice up" your stories and keep a woman on
the edge of her seat (She'll describe you to her
friends as "FASCINATING" and "POWERFUL" when you do
this)

-A lesson from stand up comedians you can use to
create "never fail conversation routines" (The best
cure for "uncomfortable silences" I've ever heard)

-What "naturals" do with women and in life that
"regular" guys do not (Here's a simple change women
will notice IMMEDIATELY)

-Why some men with money DON'T get women... no matter
what they do

-Why looking for "signals" from a women is a DEATH
TRAP (Do this instead to COMPLETELY ELIMINATE any
chance of rejection)

-How to pick yourself apart to make yourself
better... A simple self-analysis that shows you the
"weak spots" your friends are too embarrassed to tell
you

-An easy, non-threatening way to approach a woman
when she's out with her group of friends that gets
everyone in the group to welcome your company

-And a WHOLE lot more...

As you can see... I wasn't kidding when I said
this guy delivered.

The thing about this interview that really stood
out for ME was how I FELT after listening to all of
this guy's concepts.

He has a way of communicating that "secret sauce"
that "naturals" have... a way that made me feel like
I "got it" much better.

In my experience, this specific thing (getting it
and understanding it) is the most valuable thing
there is when it comes to success with women and
dating.

It's VERY important that you hear this interview
yourself.

I'm going to be releasing this interview as part
of my monthly "Interviews With Dating Gurus" Series
in a matter of days.

It's "going to press" this Friday.

If you're already subscribed to my Interview
Series, you don't have to do anything. It will be in
your mailbox soon.

But if you HAVEN'T subscribed yet, you need to do
so by THURSDAY AT MIDNIGHT PST (That's May 12th) if
you want to get this one.

I don't need to tell you that great conversational
skills are NOT OPTIONAL when it comes to ATTRACTION.

You have it down in order to be successful with
women... and when it comes to REALLY ATTRACTIVE
women... YOU BETTER BE GOOD.

This interview will show you the way.

My new friend is one of the best there is... but
more importantly, he has developed it into a
step-by-step SCIENCE you can use to make YOUR
interactions great... every time.

Imagine how it will feel next time you go out with
a beautiful, sexy woman after learning these secrets...
KNOWING it's going to be the best date SHE'S ever
had...

It's a great feeling knowing that you can turn up
a woman's attraction for you with a verbal "flip of a
button"... and I want you to feel it too.

Conversations With Women

2007-06-26T03:18:00.000-07:00

If there are people out there who still don't
believe in the cocky & funny, QUIT DOUBTIN' IT AND
START WORKIN' IT!

The other night I was at a burger joint near my
office. It's one of those grungy independent
places that's popular with the locals, and out of
towners make a point to visit if they're here for
something else. The line had snaked around, and a
group of three cuties was standing in front of my
table. They were talking about what they'd heard,
and one of them said she was looking forward to
their fries.

Since I had a bunch of fries in front of me, I
made eye contact and gave my fries a Vanna White
flourish with my hands. She said, "Wow those look
good. Can I?"

I offered her one of my fries. She dipped it in my
cup of ketchup, and right as she popped it in her
mouth, I looked her in the eye and said "By the
way, I double-dip." In the space of two seconds,
her expressions ranged from shock at my brashness,
to wondering whether she should be grossed out,
to laughing.

I knew I could have gotten her e-mail/number...
and the thing is, I didn't even want to, because
I've been seeing a solid eight. Sure, there are
hotter, but until recently I would have thought
she was entirely out of my league. And I ALWAYS
bust her balls. She's always coming up to me,
saying "Gimme kiss". I think for a second and say,
"Umm... no, but thanks!" And then she's
enthusiastically kissing me. Or more.

I'm not the hottest guy out there. I'm pretty fat,
actually. But women hate how desperation smells, and
if a beautiful woman sees that you're not looking for
just anyone who'll return the conversation, and that
you're not intimidated by their looks, that's GOLD,
man, GOLD.

In fact, it's even worked for me at the office.
Now, yes, here you have to be more careful. And it
doesn't substitute for competence. But my boss
sees I'm not intimidated, and I get stuff done. In
fact, today I just landed a $5K raise.

You must be tired of hearing it... well, hear it
again. Dave, you da man.

E
Michigan

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Nice!

Well, I think my favorite line in your email
was...

"...women hate how desperation smells..."

Because this doesn't make a whole lotta sense
to most of the guys who read it, let me do the
honors of breakin' it down for ya...

When someone says something like this, what
they're trying to say is that there's something
about "desperation" that women pick up on... but
it's not easy to describe.

Desperation comes across in all kinds of subtle
ways, from how you talk to a woman, to the eye
contact that you make, to how often you call her.

Women can "smell" it because women are
approximately TEN TIMES better at reading body
language than men. Your body language says
everything about you to a woman... so if you want
to get better at attracting women, you'd better
start paying attention to and taking control of
it.

Start with your posture. Lift your chest.

Lean back, not forward.

Leaning forward is usually a "needy" signal.

Leaning back is usually a signal of strength.

Slow down your movements.

Fast movements convey nervousness and
skittishness.

Slow movements convey self control and strength.

It's a good idea to take some time and study the
body language of guys who are successful with
women. Watch closely, and pay attention to
EVERYTHING.

Even though something doesn't SEEM like it's
important, it probably is.

I have a good friend who holds his drink a
certain way when he's talking to a woman that he's
interested in.

He does it almost every time.

Is it important?

You do the math.

Thanks for the email. Good stuff.

***COMMENTS FROM A WOMAN***

Hey Dave -

Ok, I can't help myself. I've got to comment
again. I commented last week in response to a
writer who was disturbed with your methods of
meeting women. And now this week, I find another,
equally amusing halfwit who just doesn't get it
(the one you affectionately called a "crack
smoker".. hehehe).

Is it me or the rest of the world? Jesus, people.
It's not disrespectful, it's not meant to be
hurtful or demeaning. It's called TEASING ... it's
a playful, flattering form of teasing.

Let me give you an example of a guy I met
recently, from a female's point of view -- one
guy's success story (and unless he gets your
newsletter or has read your materials, he's
probably totally unaware of HOW he "hooked" me so
easily). I met a guy online several months ago,
we chatted for awhile and quickly discovered that
we had a very compatible quick-witted sense of
humor (he was cocky and very funny from the get-go
...I loved it). Everytime we talked on the phone,
he'd find a way to bust my chops and make me laugh.
(Sounds cliche, but "He had me at hello." hehehe)
He'd always point out some imperfection of mine and
blow it all out of proportion and talk about how
it just wasn't going to work out because of all my
flaws (kidding the whole time, of course) ... one
being the fact that I'm not particularly very well
endowed in the chest region. A modest 38B. So
after we met that first time, he walked me to my
car that night, and as he turned to walk towards
his car, he paused and turned back long enough to
say "oh, and you're right, you're not very busty."
Shocked, I just said, "oh get outta here you
*&$%@# " and jabbed him in the arm. And I grinned
the whole way home. And I couldn't wait to see him
again.

I hope you consider including this in your
newsletter to encourage guys to keep trying your
methods. THEY DO WORK! With the negative comments
in the last couple of newsletters from "outraged"
readers, I'd hate for any guy to second-guess that
this stuff works. Because as far as I'm concerned,
there just aren't enough of you guys (cocky &
funny) around. At least I can't find 'em.

J, in Maryland

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Yea, well I think that the REAL problem that
the "halfwits" and "crack smokers" of past
newsletters are having is that they don't GET IT.

I've found that women HATE the idea that guys
are doing ANYTHING "intentionally" to become more
successful in the dating world.

Anything that has to be "learned" really freaks
some women out (as a side note, I've found that
most of the women I've talked to in person about
my ideas were OK with them. On occasion, a woman
will freak out, but after they actually "get" what
I'm talking about, they almost universally LIKE the
ideas).

The REAL profound insight that I've had relating
to this topic is that women will often SAY that
they want one thing, but then when they GET it
they seem like they don't want it.

On the other hand, women will often SAY that
they don't like certain types of guys or certain
traits, then they'll turn around and SLEEP with one
of these exact guys.

Keep in mind, we're talking about women here,
and I don't mean to pick on them... the fact is
that GUYS have their own set of bizarre behaviors
too. But since everyone is reading these Mailbags
to learn about how to attract women, we're going
to have to skip this discussion. Wink Wink.
of these exact guys.

And for all the guys who doubt that what we're
talking about here "works", just ask yourself
these questions:

1) Is what you're CURRENTLY doing working?

2) Isn't it worth the risk to try ANYTHING else if
there's even a CHANCE that it will actually work?

Nice.

Thanks for your email.

***QUESTION***

Hey Dave,

Been getting your newsletter for about two months
now. Also got both your book and your DVD. They're
just unbelievably superb!!!! The stuffs in your
book and DVD are so easy to be understood. It is
like reading "How to double your dates for
Dummies". I was always nervous when I was around
hot looking girls. Now, I actually have the
confidence to walk up to them and ask for their
emails/numbers. It's such a big shift in such a
short time. Composure is almost what the girls are
looking for. Without it, they can sense you got
no game. You really got the stuffs. It works
wonders. I'm certainly still new to this and I am
practicing everyday constantly.

I have no problems asking girls for the emails. I
understand how the composure, voice tone and
everything works. But this is my problem. Some
girls actually say this exact same lines like
"Why don't you give me your email/number and I'll
email/call you." I really am stuck after they said
this. I just can't figure out some C&F to say at
this point to amplify the situation. I am ready to
be enlightened by your teaching.

My new Sensei,

Big bow to you,
E.F Canada

>>>MY COMMENTS:

lol... I love questions like this one.

Yea, when you start getting good at approaching
women, you will start having all kinds of far-out
things happen.

As a matter of fact, some of my favorite
stories that my friends and I laugh about are
about times that I started conversations with
women.

Here, let me confuse you for a moment...

Let me give you a couple of different
perspectives on your situation.

I have one good friend who has been with
literally HUNDREDS of women.

He told me a story about a woman that said this
to him. He asked her for her number, and she said
"Well, why don't you write down your number and
I'll call you...".

He didn't even hesitate... he shot back "Donâ€™t
give me that SH**, write your number down!".

She smiled and wrote her number down.

One time I was out talking to a girl... I asked
her to write down her email and number, and she
said "You give me your number" etc.

I looked at her and said "Never mind".

Then, as the conversation went on, she started
making comments about talking to me in the future,
giving her my number, etc.

I just said "Nah, you're not serious. If you
were, you wouldn't be playing games with me, and
you'd just give me your number".

She wrote it down.

Funny enough, my standard response to "Why
don't you give me your number instead and I'll
call you" is to just look at her and say "Write it
down. It will be OK..." and then point to the
paper.

That probably works about 50% of the time.

You have what I like to refer to as a "high
quality problem". Remember what you've learned in
my DVD program about what a woman is REALLY
looking for. Then be it.

Just because a woman says "Give me your number
instead" doesn't mean that you've lost control.
It's usually just a test.

***COMMENT***

OMG okay Dave,

I'm a female and have been reading your
newsletters to try and figure out where guys get
their "game" from. Now that I know it's from you,
I would like to say you're a total genius. Like
I've had guys use your tips on me and at first
I've been like "what the hell" then later on in
the conversation, we were exchanging numbers and
kisses. you must be like a woman in disguise or
something. you are so awesome.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Well, one thing is for sure... I'm NOT a woman in
disguise.

lol...

I don't know many women who could explain this
stuff the way I do.

Oh, and feel free to send your picture and
phone number with your emails in the future.

If there's one thing that's better than a man
recognizing my genius, it's a cute gal recognizing
it.

By the way, you said something that was very
interesting in your email.

You said that when guys start using these
techniques with you, at FIRST you respond with
"what the hell"... but LATER ON you wind up kissing
and exchanging numbers.

Very VERY interesting.

This is a KEY point that most guys just can't
grasp or work with. Thanks for laying it out.

***QUESTION***

hello there.

can u please let me know, what is meant by a
wussy.? I've came across this word a lot, in ur
newsletter, wussy, and wussies, but couldn't
figure out, what it means. I didn't find the
meaning of that word in the dictionary too.

as you used in ur letter,
Women aren't attracted to Wussies
what is meant by that.

waiting for ur reply

bye

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Yes, I can explain the concept of what a
"Wussy" is quite easily.

If you say things like "waiting for your ur
reply", you're communicating like a Wussy.

If you don't know what a Wussy is, you probably
are one.

Guys who aren't Wussies know what a "Wussy" is
because they usually MAKE FUN OF THEM a lot.

I know, I know... I'm being harsh.

But I used to be a BIG TIME Wussy. It was a
problem.

I used to call women all the time, kiss up to
them, give away my power to them, and every other
WUSS-ISH thing you could do.

In other words, I'm an expert.

A Wussy is a guy who gives away his power to
women, and behaves in a "submissive" way.

Don't do this.

It's the DARK SIDE, if there ever was one.

***QUESTION***

David,

I've been reading your newsletter for about a
month now and I respect your honesty and
perspectives. The things you've said makes lots of
sense and I have no doubts that they work. In
fact, I have observed others use your techniques
they and get remarkable results with the ladies.
Now, when I read your newsletters, I thought to
myself and realized that I have been somewhat
using your "cocky and funny" techniques
unconsciously... ie, teasing the girls, making fun
of them but not putting them down. (I guess its
part of my personality). I make some of the girls
I work with as well as my customers laugh.
\
The thing is, when I go out to a bar or a
nightclub, or anywhere else for that matter, I
tend to clam up for some reason. I might even give
the impression to others that I'm a tightass
because I dont open my mouth. I know I can keep
the ball rolling once I have the girls attention.
My problem is the ice breaker. The very first
thing I say AFTER introducing myself, or even
BEFORE depending on the situation. I feel like I
dont have any interesting things to say to start
up a conversation. My question is how can I
prepare myself to be more cocky per say? What
ice breakers can I use and not look like a wuss
at the same time? I try to listen in on the guys
next to me pick up girls, try to hear what they
are saying. But I'm hard of hearing and its quite
hard in noisy situations for me to hear anything
unless my ear is literally close. Interested in
any perspectives and feedback you can give to
start off.

Thanks
A.W.G. - Illinois

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Most guys are afraid of approaching women and
starting conversations.

When you say the words "ice breaker", you
ASSUME that a woman is going to respond to you
"coldly". You know, Ice=Cold.

The fact is that there are a certain percentage
of women out there who are happy, open, and
receptive in general, and a certain amount that
are cold, closed, and NOT receptive.

I had a guy come to my last seminar in Los
Angeles who went out one of the evenings and
started approaching women.

He came back into the seminar the next day and
told his story...

He said that he couldn't believe how he let his
past negative programming stop him from starting
conversations with women. He had gone out, and
walked up to women one after the other and just
simply said "Hi, I'm out meeting people tonight,
what's your name?" and women were giving him all
kinds of positive responses.

Just remember that most women will respond
somewhere in the range of "neutral" to "positive"
if you say almost ANYTHING to them.

Now, if you want to start conversations in bars
and nightclubs, and you just can't get the nerve
up to do it, try this...

Find a BUSY place near the bar where people are
lining up to order drinks. Find a place where
people are literally crammed together like
sardines.

Work your way up to the bar at the BUSIEST spot,
and either stand there, or get a chair there.

The idea is that you want to be where a lot of
women will walk up to the bar during the evening
and ACCIDENTALLY bump into you.

If you REALLY want to make this work for you,
wear a loud or unique shirt... something that has
a soft, "feely" texture.

Over the course of a few hours, some
conversations will start BY THEMSELVES.

Women will say "excuse me" and try to get past
you.

Some women will ask you to order a drink for
them.

Some will just bump up against you on accident
and then apologize.

Take a few minutes, and think up some good
responses that fit your personality... and have
them ready.

Try:

"Look, if you wanted to start a conversation with
me you could have just said "hi", you didn't have
to be violent about it."

That should get you started.

The point is that there's a way to put yourself
in a situation that automatically sparks
conversations. You just need to be ready when it
happens.

This kind of thing should help you get past the
fear and hesitation to start conversations on your
own.

***QUESTION***

David D.,

First off, I'd like to thank you for taking
the time to put all of this material together. As
a guy who is finally beginning to understand the
game and is on his way to "get it", I'd like to
thank you. I'm still not completely to the place
I'd like to be, but I'm on my way (being able to
walk up to any woman who I'd like to meet and
being able to secure digits and lead things the
rest of the way from there). The ideas that I'm
finding that really help me keep my focus (and
not get too nervous/needy) are many from your
advanced program that I purchased. ex- What they
think of you is their business, and acting almost
too comfortable around them. I'm also in the
process of reading Comedy Writing Secrets by
Helitzer and have 3 other books purchased (of
those you recommended) that will be my next
projects.

Okay, on to the comment and question. I've
read recently that studies have shown (can't remember
if this was from Reader's Digest or what) that
even if you're a shy person, acting outgoing will
improve your mental health and get rid of that
feeling of seclusion that many introverted people
have. On to the question... in your Advanced DVD
program, the idea of congruence is mentioned
several times, mostly as that you have to be
congruent when you talk to a woman. This concept
seems to be rather elusive and I was wondering if
you could go into more detail about what "being
congruent" entails.

Thanks,
T.C. from Virginia

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Sure, the idea of being "congruent" when you
communicate simply means to have ALL LEVELS of
your communication be "in alignment" with each
other and "saying the same thing".

If you're asking a woman for her number, but
you're looking around nervously and hesitating,
it's not "congruent".

On the other hand, if you're saying "Write down
your email and number for me" while taking out a
pen and paper... as if it's the 147th time that
you've done it, it's CONGRUENT.

Most people don't realize that they're sending
MIXED MESSAGES all the time.

Have you ever asked someone "What's wrong?" and
had them say "NOTHING'S WRONG! Why does everyone
keep asking me what's wrong?".

That's a mixed message. And it's not congruent.

Your body language, voice tone, words, etc.

All of the different specific body language,
voice tone, and gestures that I recommend in my
programs have a single goal in mind: To help you
be 100% CONGRUENT when you are communicating with
women.

The more congruent you are, and the more you use
the techniques that I'm teaching, the better your
responses from women will become.

What To Do & Talk About On Dates With Women

2007-06-25T23:42:00.000-07:00

Tell me if this sounds familiar to you...

You meet an interesting woman and you get her
contact information...

You call her up to get a date with her... and she
says "YES"...

You hang up the phone and smile to yourself.

You did it... IT'S ON.

The day comes and you feel that excitement in your
stomach.

You meet up with her and head out... everything
feels good... she seems to be in a good mood.

And then it happens...

Things slow down.

The jokes and conversations start to feel "forced"
and awkward.

You wonder if she notices... and if she feels the
same...

Things aren't looking good... you tell yourself to
RELAX... snap out of it!

But there's just no denying that the energy you
felt at the beginning of the date just isn't there
anymore.

Then she mentions she has to go to bed early.

You walk her back to her car.

She gives you the one-arm "friend hug", jumps in
her car, and drives off.

Forever.

OUCH!

Has this ever happened to you?

And let me ask you this... be honest:

Has this happened to you CONSISTENTLY?

If so, you're not alone. I know this scenario well
because I've personally experienced it several
PAINFUL times.

And I don't know about you, but the times this
happened to me were usually with a girl I was VERY
interested in.

Why does it always seem to happen with the GOOD
ones?

And, more importantly, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING
ON HERE?

All that time and energy finally finding a great
girl, all the energy and time to get a date and plan
something fun... and then it just DIES.

Here's some encouragement:

The reason this happened is because you didn't
know what to do, how to behave, and WHAT TO SAY when
you were with her... to make her feel excited about
being with you, and cause her to feel attraction for
you.

And, most importantly... you didn't know what to
say or do to lead things in the DIRECTION things
things should have gone.

Most guys think that getting the date in the first
place gets them most of the way "home".

It's just not true.

The REAL challenge comes when you're one-on-one
with a girl, sitting across from her with a cup of
tea in front of you... and she's looking at you
hoping that you're not another pervy DWEEB that's
just going to act like nervous dumbass.

To make things worse, there aren't a lot of
"instruction manuals" that teach guys what to do and
say with women on dates... to make the woman feel
ATTRACTION.

This is an ENTIRELY DIFFERENT set of skills than
the ability to approach a woman and get her phone
number and email address. And these skills are at
LEAST as important.

If you can't hold up a conversation with a woman
when you finally do get together with her, chances
are you won't EVER get together with her again... as
you know.

Here's some more good news:

I believe that learning to create and keep up
exciting conversations with women is a lot like
learning how to tie a necktie.

If you don't know where to start, it's almost
impossible to figure out on your own.

But once you know the exact steps, after a couple
of tries you can get it right every time... without
even having to really think about it.

And just like tying a necktie, you can learn to
create and keep alive exciting conversations with
women... CONSISTENTLY and EFFORTLESSLY... once you
know the steps to do it right.

I just did an interview with a guy who has some
KILLER, paint-by-numbers strategies for creating
conversations that women love.

He's a master of making women feel comfortable and
curious about him, building attraction and sexual
tension FAST, and keeping conversations "hot" for as
long as he likes (which is usually until the woman
jumps on him).

In this great interview I did with him, he
"spilled the beans" on the exact steps he uses to do
this CONSISTENTLY... even when a woman isn't giving
him a whole lot of "material" to work with.

This guy is very experienced with women. He's one
of those guys I call "A Natural". He has met and
dated women all around the world... so he has a
particular kind of experience and perspective that
cuts across all racial and cultural lines.

He's built quite a reputation for himself with his
unique strategies and insights... and several of my
friends have been telling me for years now that I
just HAD to interview this guy...

And I gotta tell ya, he didn't disappoint.

I can't even begin to tell you about all of the
interesting techniques he shared.

I had to do a lot of editing on this program
because I paused so much during the conversation
while taking notes!

He's a very smart fellow, and during our interview
he also touched on how men can use their INTELLIGENCE
to give themselves a unique advantage that "jerks"
and "muscleheads" can't hope to compete with...

He also shared 3 startling signs women use to tell
if a man is "faking confidence" that most men miss
entirely... and even some confident men give off
accidentally (listen up!).

And that was only the beginning. Here are a few
more of the brand-new nuggets he shared:

-The 2 conversation topics you MUST HIT with every
woman you date (A secret of the "naturals" that
creates an INSTANT emotional bond)

-How to use subtle physical touches to build SEXUAL
TENSION early on in a conversation

-Silent "Cocky Comedy" - How keeping a woman on the
edge of COMFORT and DISCOMFORT makes her see you as
a SEXUAL POWERHOUSE who knows exactly how to please
a woman (A potent 5-minute fix that ensures you'll
never hear the words "just friends" again)

-The one thing EXTREMELY DESIRABLE women use to spot
an "average" man from a mile away

-Conversational tactics that practically force a
woman to pursue YOU (You'll use these with every new
woman that you meet)

-The subtle change in voice tone you MUST MAKE after
the first few minutes with a woman (A simple way to
communicate that you're EXPERIENCED and DESIRABLE
without actually SAYING it)

-The 9 words to say to a woman when she says "Let's
just be friends"... that turn the situation around
and put YOU back in control

-How to "screen" women by asking questions that make
them want to impress you

-The different kinds of body language and voice tones
you should use in each situation with a woman (The
BEST WAY to intensify the power of everything else
you do)

-A secret that intelligent guys can use to give
themselves an "unfair" advantage over other men

-The primal body language "dances" that go on during
an interaction between a man and a woman (When you
know how this works you'll ALWAYS be able to lead
things in the right direction)

-A way to use "mixed" body language signals to make a
woman feel comfortable around you (and want to be
close to you)

-What to do when you're worried she's "not feeling
it" (Use this secret "Get Out Of Jail Free" card to
RE-attract her FAST... even if you're feeling
nervous)

-How to "spice up" your stories and keep a woman on
the edge of her seat (She'll describe you to her
friends as "FASCINATING" and "POWERFUL" when you do
this)

-A lesson from stand up comedians you can use to
create "never fail conversation routines" (The best
cure for "uncomfortable silences" I've ever heard)

-What "naturals" do with women and in life that
"regular" guys do not (Here's a simple change women
will notice IMMEDIATELY)

-Why some men with money DON'T get women... no matter
what they do

-Why looking for "signals" from a women is a DEATH
TRAP (Do this instead to COMPLETELY ELIMINATE any
chance of rejection)

-How to pick yourself apart to make yourself
better... A simple self-analysis that shows you the
"weak spots" your friends are too embarrassed to tell
you

-An easy, non-threatening way to approach a woman
when she's out with her group of friends that gets
everyone in the group to welcome your company

-And a WHOLE lot more...

As you can see... I wasn't kidding when I said
this guy delivered.

The thing about this interview that really stood
out for ME was how I FELT after listening to all of
this guy's concepts.

He has a way of communicating that "secret sauce"
that "naturals" have... a way that made me feel like
I "got it" much better.

In my experience, this specific thing (getting it
and understanding it) is the most valuable thing
there is when it comes to success with women and
dating.

It's VERY important that you hear this interview
yourself.

I'm going to be releasing this interview as part
of my monthly "Interviews With Dating Gurus" Series
in a matter of days.

It's "going to press" this Friday.

If you're already subscribed to my Interview
Series, you don't have to do anything. It will be in
your mailbox soon.

But if you HAVEN'T subscribed yet, you need to do
so by THURSDAY AT MIDNIGHT PST (That's May 12th) if
you want to get this one.

I don't need to tell you that great conversational
skills are NOT OPTIONAL when it comes to ATTRACTION.

You have it down in order to be successful with
women... and when it comes to REALLY ATTRACTIVE
women... YOU BETTER BE GOOD.

This interview will show you the way.

My new friend is one of the best there is... but
more importantly, he has developed it into a
step-by-step SCIENCE you can use to make YOUR
interactions great... every time.

Imagine how it will feel next time you go out with
a beautiful, sexy woman after learning these secrets...
KNOWING it's going to be the best date SHE'S ever
had...

It's a great feeling knowing that you can turn up
a woman's attraction for you with a verbal "flip of a
button"... and I want you to feel it too.

The Ultimate Mistake Men Make With Women

2007-06-25T22:12:00.000-07:00

I want to share an interesting insight with you
that not 1 in 100 men ever realize on their own.
It's actually TWO insights, but they're two sides
of the same coin.

It's an amazingly OBVIOUS double insight, and
once you know what it is, you'll see evidence of
it all around you, in every interaction between a
man and a woman.

And it goes a little sumthin' like this:

1. Most men behave like WUSSIES when it comes to
women and dating.

2. Women NEVER feel the powerful and magical
emotion called ATTRACTION for WUSSIES.

So let's take them one at a time.

WHAT exactly IS a WUSSY?

A Wussy is a guy who kisses up to women.

A Wussy is a guy who does whatever a woman
wants him to do, and doesn't even know if or when
a woman is testing him.

A Wussy is a guy who accepts manipulative
behavior from women, and doesn't care if a woman
flakes out on him, takes advantage of him, or
acts overly dramatic around him.

A Wussy is a guy who has no backbone, and caves
when challenged by a woman.

A Wussy is a guy who feels that he needs to BUY
or PAY FOR a woman's attention and affection with
gifts, dinners, compliments, and other forms of
payment and flattery...because he can't imagine
that a woman would want to be with him just for
HIM.

In short, a WUSSY is a submissive man who tries
to compensate for his lack of ability to attract
women by being overly accommodating and generous.

NEWS JUST IN: MOST MEN ACT LIKE WUSSIES!

And if that wasn't bad enough, here's the
REALLY bad news: Women will NEVER feel ATTRACTION
for this kind of behavior, or this kind of guy!

(If you even doubt what I'm saying for a
SECOND, then try this simple test: Find 3
attractive women, and ask them if they ever feel
a gut-level ATTRACTION for guys who kiss up to
them and act like Wussies, and watch what they
say.)

Want some even WORSE news?

When this kind of tactic doesn't work for a
guy, he'll usually TRY HARDER, and become even
MORE of a WUSSY to make a girl like him... and
the more a girl runs away, the more a WUSSY most
guys become.

YOU DO THE MATH and figure out the outcome of
this equation.

It totally blows my mind how a guy will kiss up
to a woman and watch with HIS OWN TWO EYES as she
becomes more and more distant... and instead of
him realizing that it's his own WUSS behavior
that's causing the woman to run away he just keeps
doing it... AND EVEN INCREASING IT!

And how do I know this so well?

Because I, my friend, used to be a BIG TIME
Wuss Bag.

Of course, when I think back about situations
in my life where I behaved like a Wuss and caused
a woman to lose her attraction for me, I slap my
head and say "DUH!"

For whatever reason, it just wasn't obvious to
me in the moment.

And I think that MOST guys go their whole lives
without realizing this critical insight.

Let me tell you something else that is VITALLY
important for you to remember:

WOMEN HAVE MILITARY GRADE WUSS-DETECTION RADAR
SYSTEMS.

Notice that I didn't say "Women are pretty good
at figuring out whether or not you're a Wuss".

No no noooooo.

I said that women have MILITARY GRADE
WUSS-DETECTION SYSTEMS.

I'm talking special forces navy seal top gun
covert ops here.

I'm talking INSTANT WUSSY DETECTION.

A woman can tell if you're a Wussy, in most
cases, BEFORE YOU EVEN OPEN YOUR MOUTH.

So if women aren't attracted to Wussies, then
why is it that they sometimes accept invitations
to dinner, gifts, flowers, and attention from guys
who are Wussies, only to reject them later on?

Well, think about it.

1. Free food is free food, and free gifts are
free gifts...I mean, when the price is right, it's
right.

2. Women say to themselves "I really SHOULD date a
nice guy instead of all these SEXY JERKS that I've
been seeing. I'll let Mr. Girly Man take me out
to dinner a few times and maybe I can learn to
like him".

3. If a woman doesn't have anything going on at
all, dinner with a Wussy and a constant stream of
compliments and attention is better than nothing.

4. Men are NOTORIOUS for showing their "non-Wuss"
side early on, but then somehow turning into a
woman's worst nightmare Wuss Boy as the
relationship progresses.

What to do, what to do?

Well, sometimes these things are like a
substance abuse problem. The first step is
ADMITTING that you've been being a WUSS all your
life, and that you were doing the best you could
with what you had to work with.

I often make fun of guys who act like Wussies,
and bust on them unmercifully... but the fact is
that I've been there, and I get it.

So step one is accepting yourself as you are,
and making a commitment to yourself to improve
from here on out.

Next, you need to learn how to EVICT your inner
Wuss, and then it's time to get down to business
and learn how to create that magical feeling
called ATTRACTION inside of women.

It's not magic, and it's not voodoo. Making
women feel a powerful, gut-level ATTRACTION for
you doesnâ€™t require looks or money, and I honestly
believe that almost ANY man can learn how to do it.

The amazing part about it is that we all have
the NATURAL ability to communicate with women in a
way that makes them feel ATTRACTION... but most of
us guys never DEVELOPED this natural skill.

We either didn't have good role models, we were
programmed wrong by mom or other well-meaning
people in our lives, or whatever.

But just because you haven't yet learned how to
use and develop these natural talents doesn't mean
that you can't start NOW.

Why Cheap Dates Are So Much Better

2007-06-24T10:16:00.000-07:00

Next time you go out on your first date, change your routine a
little bit. Break your predictable dinner or drinks plans and do
something different - something very simple and inexpensive. I call
it a "$1.55 date" - that's what Starbucks charges for medium coffee
these days.

Don't take me wrong. I am not cheap; I just know what works
better - for you and her.

On your next first date - meet up at a coffee shop, have coffee, put
your conversational and dating skills to the test by being positive,
funny and interesting to talk to in an intimate, relaxed
environment. Then, take a nice, slow walk together and see how
things go.

Why is this so much better than dinner or drinks?

There are many reasons. First, you concentrate on each other and
not on a plate of rice or a steak. You talk to the real person and
not a woman who hides her true face behind alcohol. You don't come
across as a wimp who has to pay to be with a woman. You show your
dominance by controlling the situation without coming across as
controlling. You find out much faster whether or not there is
chemistry between two of you.

You get an extra bonus too - if she seems unhappy about such a
"cheap" date - you get to see and lose the "b!tch" early on without
wasting too much time on her.

Save the scuba-diving and rock-climbing for later. Start simple
and ... if they deserve it - move up.

How To Avoid The Friend Zone

2007-06-24T08:16:00.000-07:00

Jeffy, Executive Coach
REAL SOCIAL DYNAMICS
Enter a mystical world where
unicorns roam the night and fat guys get laid by models.
I'm talking about myself, of course.

That's the rub about learning this stuff: back in my chode days,
I thought I had to be in shape to get the girls, so I'd work out
a lot. I wasn't big by any means, but I was pretty toned.

Now that I've discovered the pickup game and gotten reasonably
good at it, I realize looks are largely irrelevant, and as such
my motivation to work out declined.

But now I'm at a turning point. I've started taking care of myself
and monitoring what I eat. It's not about getting girls. It's
about health and vitality.

That's a big thing to realize in this game: don't set and achieve
your goals in order to impress chicks... do it for YOU, and the
chicks will flock to you, not as a result of your money, power,
or ripped abs, but because you're a guy who has a cool lifestyle
and is centered and confident.

With that in mind, allow me to introduce today's topic of
discussion. It's a little something we like to call
"supplication."

What is supplication?

For the answer to that question, allow me to present an excerpt
from "The Blueprint," the Real Social Dynamics book written by
our fearless leader, Tyler Durden:

"The act of doing something for a girl that you wouldn't
normally do, in the hopes of getting affection from her in
return is called "supplication."

Supplication is something that occurs when being too nice sets
up a dynamic between the two of you where it's implied that she
has a higher social value than you do, because you can't attract
her based on your personality. That could include performing
any kind of favor that has an agenda for a girl with whom you've
not already had sex, from drinks, to compliments, to flowers,
to gifts, etc."

Look man, we're constantly bombarded from a very young age with
images suggesting this kind of stuff is a good idea. It's
everywhere.

For example, I was driving down the street the other day when I
heard a beer commercial on the radio.

Announcer: "How NOT to hit on a woman at a party:"

Chode: "Hey did it hurt when you fell from heaven?"

Announcer: "Next time, try this instead:"

Chode: "Hello. I noticed you're out of cold [insert beer name
here]. May I get you another?"

Announcer: "BINGO!"

So after hearing this, I naturally started pounding my forehead
against the steering wheel in rage and hatred. What a sight this
must have been to my fellow motorists, watching me careen down the
freeway at 70 miles per hour while having some sort of panic
attack. Real nice.

The thing is, these behaviors CAN work. Obviously, somebody's
getting laid using them, since the human race is propagating
itself.

Unfortunately, since EVERY guy does this stuff, it immediately
slots you into the category of "regular needy guy," 90% of
whom get blown off instantaneously.

We're not playing some game of statistical roulette here. We want
CONSISTENCY, not "getting lucky."

It gets worse. Let me introduce you to a special sub-species of
chode known as the "orbiter."

Orbiters are guys that sort of "orbit" around girls they are
interested in sleeping with, lavishing them with gifts and favors
in the hopes that their dream will one day come true.

Every reasonably attractive girl has a few of these. These are
the guys that help them move. The guys that give them a ride
to work every morning. The guys that loan them money when they're
broke.

Do these guys ever get laid?

No... because then the girl wouldn't be able to string them
along for favors anymore.

Lemme give you an example of what I'm talking about here.

One day, I called one of my girls and told her I might come by her
place later.

So, later on, one of her orbiters calls up and says, "Hey, can
I come by? I'll bring some food, beer and a movie."

She goes, "I dunno, I might be hanging out with Jeffy later. Let
me get back to you."

So I finally decide to go over there, and I call her to let her
know. She asks me to bring a movie over.

"What?" I say, "Ridiculous. Your TV sucks, I'm not wasting a
movie on that 13 inch POS... also, you're gonna cook me dinner.
And you BETTER have some beer there."

Who do you think she ended up hanging out with?

That's right baby. Me.

These orbiter guys get treated worse than a piece of gum stuck to
the bottom of her shoe, man.

I remember one time, this chick was moving, and she had an
orbiter help her. During this process, I spent the entire time
at the new place, drinking a beer and watching him move the
furniture and the boxes in. When he was done, she dismissed him
and we christened the new bedroom. Poor chump... awwww.

Don't be an orbiter. If you wouldn't do it for a guy or an ugly
chick, don't do it for her.

The point is, you don't want to let her manipulate you in any
way.

She asks you for a cigarette? You don't give it to her unless she
makes an animal noise.

I don't smoke, but my buddy and fellow RSD Executive Coach
Christophe does. Lemme tell you, it's quite amusing to see
some hot girl oinking and squealing like a piglet in order to
obtain one of his smokes.

She asks you to buy her a drink? Tell her you'll get it for her
AFTER she kisses you, if it's any good.

(side note: most of the time, I won't buy them the drink, even
after they kiss me. What a jerk, right? Send me some hate mail.)

The anti-supplication rule is very important, even for a seasoned
veteran like myself. Even if you're not coming from a place of
neediness, acts of kindness and gifts can still blow up in your
face and be interpreted as supplication by the chick.

For example, I remember one time I decided to take this girl out
to dinner. Not because I was trying to impress her, but
because I wanted to try out this new restaurant I was hearing a
lot about, and I didn't want to eat alone. Plain and simple.

I'm like, "I'm a master pickup artist. I'm not coming from a
needy frame, my subcommunication is on the money, it'll be fine."

So we went, and I paid. It was like 100 bucks, which really isn't
that much money. No big deal.

WRONG. The chick thought it was a big deal, and she never called
me again. I was surprised at first, but then in retrospect it
made perfect sense. Of course she's not gonna call, it looked
like I blew all this dough in an attempt to impress her.

In other words, I looked like a chode. Perception is reality.

Check it. For some guys, this stuff just comes naturally. But
those guys are a tiny tiny minority. The rest of us have to
learn the hard way, through trial and error.

But it doesn't have to be that way. Because now RSD is here to
take you to the magical land of unicorns which I previously
mentioned. Our live, in-field Bootcamp is your ticket to
that land. We've taken thousands of dudes just like you on this
mystical voyage.

On the first day, they're just kind of overwhelmed by all
the information we present. A lot of this stuff is so
counter-intuitive, but once you get it, flashbulbs start
exploding in your head.

It's a complete paradigm shift... and once you know the truth,
you'll never be the same again.

And that's a good thing.

As the program goes on, you see the game demonstrated right in
front of you so you learn just what's possible, in real time, in
the field.

Then we fine-tune your game... eliminating all your weaknesses
and correcting all your mistakes. A lot of the time, it's just a
matter of getting the fundamentals down: fixing your body
language, watching your tonality and vocal projection, etc.

After that, all the pieces just fall into place.

For a lot of guys, by the end of the workshop they've undergone
a COMPLETE TRANSFORMATION, from average and frustrated to
near-supernatural in their ability to attract beautiful women.

I've seen it hundreds of times, and more importantly, it's
something that I've gone through myself.

Sign up today by checking our website:

http://www.realsocialdynamics.com/n/bootcamps.asp

Here's what one former client had to say about the program:

________________________________________________________________

"Most certainly, money well spent. My instructor, Tim, took me
through the motions and helped demystify the dating world. Why
didn't I do this years ago? It would have saved me from having
a great deal of frustration, not to mention time, money, energy.

At some point, I will like to come back and hone my skills even
more.

I haven't had so many quality dates ever. It's like shooting
fish in a barrel.

David"

________________________________________________________________

Where did that expression "shooting fish in a barrel" come from
anyway? I can't imagine it would really be all that easy. For one,
the barrel would probably get a hole in it from the bullets, and
all the water would drain out. And besides, why would you even
need to shoot the fish, if they're already captured in the
barrel right there?

Anyway, enough navel-gazing. It's time to take action. What you
need to do right now is learn about our new Superconferences.

This is a very special program cooked up by RSD's Executive
Producer, Tyler. This guy is simultaneously one of the most
revered and reviled guys in the game today, for one reason and
one reason only:

He gets results. Big time results.

This notorious genius has spent the last three years honing and
perfecting his understanding of game and what it takes to get a
guy from loser to lothario in the shortest amount of time
possible.

Now, he shares those insights with a select group of clients as
he travels the globe conducting the Superconferences.

When you attend, you'll sit in rapt attention as Tyler spews
forth practically everything he's learned about the game in
an entertaining and highly educational two-day seminar.

This is the grand unification theory of pickup, presented by
the world's foremost authority. It don't get any better than
this, sheldon.

So yeah, learn more about this killer new program by clicking
here:

http://www.realsocialdynamics.com/n/seminars.asp

So yeah, that's it for today. I hope this helped. If I can save
just ONE guy from being the dork that helps a girl move while
the guy she's banging watches and laughs with a brew in his hand,
then it's been worth it for me.

Now excuse me, I have to go find some tofu or something. This
shall be the season of ripped abs. Ripped abs ahoy! Oh man, I
can't wait.

Thanks for reading, and I'll see you next time.

Sincerely,

Jeffy, Executive Coach
REAL SOCIAL DYNAMICS

PS...Do you have any questions or success stories that you'd
like to see in this newsletter? Keep it brief, email them to me
at jlaix@realsocialdynamics.com and I'll answer them personally.
I'll provide the solution to any challenge you can possibly put
to me. Remember: even if an obstacle seems "big" to you, our
team has probably faced it hundreds of times, so we can solve
it in a SNAP.